“I’d like to see a little more about how they make this food,” said Dredd, whilst heading towards a door marked


But Dobie said,

“No, we’re not allowed in there for hygiene reasons.”

“Strange,”thought Dredd, “we should be allowed anywhere. We’re judges”,

So he said,

“Well what if there’s a crime going on back there?”

“Good point,” said Dobie, “let’s find out, shall we?”

And they went over to the door where there was a red button with

‘JUDGES ONLY’ written on gold around it and he pressed the buzzer and a hatch on the door opened to reveal a judge wearing a white helmet and a hygiene face mask behind the door.

“Everything all right back there, Wagner?”, asked Dobie.

“Sure thing,” replied Wagner and slid shut the hatch.

During the course of the day, whilst they were showing Dredd the ropes, they explained to Dredd that they had targets to meet to rid the streets of as many crims as possible to make Metro City a safe place for the cits. They said crime was rife, except between the hours of midnight and 6 a.m. , when it was curfew and only judges were allowed outdoors.

“Right, let’s go catch us some crims, shall we?” and during the afternoon, not only did they catch robbers and muggers and pick-pockets, etc., but also a lot of cits were arrested for being in possession of contraband – flour!

“A lot of crims, if they get their hands on illegal flour can start illegal bakeries in their kitchens,” Boyle said, “and they can earn a fortune selling bread on the streets”.

“But, don’t you worry,” said Boyle, “We’ll flush them all out!”

“It’s even worse than that”, said Dobie, “some crims set up illicit distilleries and any liquid they can get their hands on, they distill the water out of it and sell it in their seedy dives!”

“Yeah, there’s a real big problem with bootleg liquid in this city,” agreed Boyle.

BUT, cits were also being arrested for the most trivial of crimes, one had a piece of litter accidentally drift out of her bag, another for stubbing his toe and cussing, another, when asked where he was going by Dobie, told a lie, as registered on their lie detectors.

All these were arrested on the spot, rounded up, whilst the judges sent for their own sector meat wagons to take them all in.

“What about judgement?, asked Dredd.

“They are all guilty as charged of breaking the law, we have judged them so,” said Dobie.

“Well, what about justice then?”,  asked Dredd.

“Ah, the chief judge himself likes to dispense justice himself personally every morning at 11 a.m.”,  said Boyle,

“Anyway, that was a good day’s work, time to head for the Great Halls of Justice. It’s nearly chow time!”

They marched through the halls in the building and through some double doors into the judges’ giant dining hall and Dredd couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw what was lined up on the tables! All the tables were piled high with veritable banquets of delicious foods!

They made their way to a table stood around it and Dobie said,

“We have to wait for the Chief Judge”.

They didn’t have to wait long and all were silent as he strode down the centre of the hall,   bearded, wearing a bowler hat, with a black cape flowing, carrying a book of the law in one hand and flanked by his aides on either side.

[ based on Paul Newman’s Judge Roy Bean!]

“Sit, my judges,” Chief Judge Bean said, “and eat to give you the strengh to fight another day’s crime and make this glorious city of ours a safe place to live. Amen.”

And everyone replied,


Then a couple of judges wearing chefs’ hats carried a huge silver platter up to the Chiefs table at the top of the room, with a dead swan on it!!

None of the day’s events sat right in Dredd’s head.

“This ain’t right,” he thought, “I’m sworn to uphold the law, but it ain’t right.”