They said that crime was rife, except for between the hours of midnight and 6 a.m., when it was curfew and only judges were allowed outdoors.
“Right, let’s go catch us some crims, shall we?”, said Boyle and during the course of the afternoon, not only did they catch robbers and muggers and pick-pockets, etc., but also a lot of cits were arrested for being in possession of contraband – flour!
“A lot of crims, if they get their hands on illegal flour can start illegal bakeries in their kitchens,” Boyle said, “and they can earn a fortune selling bread on the streets”.
“But, don’t you worry,” said Boyle, “We’ll flush them all out!”
“It’s even worse than that”, said Dobie, “some crims set up illicit distilleries and any liquid they can get their hands on, they distill the water out of it and sell it in their seedy dives!”
“Yeah, there’s a real big problem with bootleg liquid in this city,” agreed Boyle.
BUT, cits were also being arrested for the most trivial of crimes, one heavily-pregnant woman had a piece of litter accidentally drift out of her bag, another was arrested for stubbing his toe and cussing, another, when asked where he was going by Dobie, told a lie, as registered on their lie detectors.
All these were arrested on the spot, rounded up, whilst the judges sent for their own sector meat wagons to take them all in.
“What about judgement?” asked Dredd.
“They are all guilty as charged of breaking the law, we have judged them so,” said Dobie.
“Well, what about justice then” asked Dredd.
“Ah, the chief judge himself likes to dispense justice himself personally every morning at 11a.m.”, said Boyle,
“Anyway, that was a good days work, time to head for the Grand Halls of Justice. It’s nearly chow time!”
They marched through the halls in the building and through some double-doors, into the judges’ giant dining hall and Dredd couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw what was lined up on the tables! All the tables were piled high with veritable banquets of medieval proportions of delicious foods!
They made their way to a table stood around it and Dobie said,
“We have to wait for the Chief Judge”.
They didn’t have to wait long and all were silent as he strode down the centre of the hall, bearded, wearing a black top hat, with a black cape flowing, carrying a book of the law in one hand and flanked by his aides on either side.
[ based on Paul Newman’s Judge Roy Bean!]
“Sit, my judges,” Chief Judge Bean said, “and eat to give you the strength to fight another day’s crime and make this glorious city of ours a safe place to live in.
Let Justice Be Done!
And everyone replied,
Then a couple of judges wearing chefs’ hats carried a huge silver platter up to the Chiefs table at the top of the room, with a dead swan on it!!
The judges ate heartily, but Dredd only ate an adequate ammount.
“I can’t stand gluttony”, he thought to himself, “-all these greedy judges ramming it into their fat mouths, – they’re all gonna end up like Two-Ton Tony Tubbs!”
None of the day’s events sat right in Dredd’s head. “No wonder they need so much sleep with all that in their bellies!”, he thought to himself in his quarters.
“It ain’t what I call a fair system when the judges get to eat like kings, whilst everyone else has to eat crud.
I’m just gonna bide my time and hopefully I’ll be out of here tomorrow!”